A Force Like Nothing On Earth

What force, u asking? My fart force la! No, that slogan was ripped off from my new mouse pad given during the RSAF(Republic of Singapore Air Force) Openhouse 2006 which i went to on Sunday.

Lu invited me to go, so i went with Candy. I was having a bad tummy ache that morning and was supposed to meet Candy at Toa Payoh then head towards the Paya Lebar Air Base. I took a cab to tpy, initial intention was to meet her then take MRT. Then i thought save the trouble, ask her hop onto the same cab and continue to Paya Lebar.

But coz my tummy wasnt acting well, i kept farting in the cab while heading towards tpy, fortunately the uncle was listening to 97.2fm LOUD, imagine the embarrassment i will have to face if he knew i farted non-stop. Then there was one fart, i thought it was just PURE FART, when i tried to push the particular wind out, my shit almost flowed out. So i thought DIE AH IM GONNA STAIN MY JEANS, must really stop at tpy and shit first. Christine u're right, im always full of shit, 'pang' non-stop.

Yes i went to the HDB Hub toilet n bombed all the 'Superstar' contestants waiting to be auditioned. On the way to the toilet i saw many of them. Those queueing up under the hot sun, some went to the toilet to 'touch up', those wannabes even thought im one of them when im out of the toilet. Wa lao buay tahan, one look i saw many weirdos- uncles, overdressed mainlanders, loansharks-look-alike, those u would least expected to see ALL TURNED UP that day. It was the males' turn to audition that day.

Candy: 'U sure u donwan to join? Why not u forfeit the airshow and do this, i accompany u?' (referring to the competition)

Me: " -_- "

And so i forfeited the airshow at Paya Lebar, took a registration form, a queue number and joined the uncles after Candy's incessant psychoings. NO LA CRAZY! Of coz i went to the air show all because of that lu-bitch. We even cabbed there, the air base damn ulu.

The cab doesnt bring u all the way to the entrance. U will be asked to alight at this particular station then walk 500 metres to another checkpoint whereby u queue up and have your belongings checked thoroughly using the 'airport luggage scanner'.




aimless road and mind you it wasn't winter.




queueing at the checkpoint. mind you it wasn't autumn either.



By the time we had our stuffs checked, my armpits were sweating. My bigger-than-J.Lo-butt especially, was like a wet sponge if you wringed both my butt cheeks hardly, you will get one year supply of sodium chloride solution. The next few minutes, i shall let the pictures do the talking:

















monkey bar? caution: that sharp end really can fuck penetrate u deep.




The jet's wheel.



8-5-0


An extremely wide variety of people went: Sporty to skinny, Ang Mohs to Hokkien Aunties, Hippies to Orbits, Lazy walkers to cannot walk one(me), Al-Qaida to Jewish. All the military planes were displayed, almost every plane was opened for visitors to hop on and experience being a pilot, a world class airplane show, explosions ah, food fair. Ahya its totally different from those cheapskate poly or uni openhouse.

The Ministry of Defence gave alot of money to the air force, u can tell there was a huge budget during the 3-day openhouse. We caught the airplane show, better than the one on National Day i swear. There were parachuters too. The breathtaking stunts that the pilot put on were enjoyable to watch but minus the deafening sounds of the planes. The planes even somersaulted while flying vertically 90 degrees, thousands of feet high up. Here's an illustration done by the artistically-inclined yours truly:





Seriously I had a question, why do they even bother to paint the planes in army green for camouflaging purposes when the planes are already deafening when flying, enemies can hear the planes like hundreds of metres away lor. Never use brain one those plane manufacturers.

Anyway let the pictures do the talking again:




lu was mending one of the booths.












food fair.






Shall we go up?



We saw a long queue, all queueing for a chance to go on board this particular plane. So being typical Singaporeans, the adorable duo both of us decided to join in and sadly we were the last to queue. Then i told Candy, i got a feeling the pilots or whoever who saw us queueing sure will let us cut queue.

True enough after only 5mins of queueing, we were asked whether would we like to go first. WHAHAHA from last to first. Sometimes its good to be born with such privileges and an innocent face is a plus. Its not too late now to saw-off your limbs. The people over at the air force were very helpful in assisting and u can see their enthusiasm in explaining the multi-functions of the aircraft and its history as well as achievements.




the parachuters jumped from here.




this particular aircraft was used to ferry bags of food to Indonesia
and other affected areas during the tsunami.



After seeing all these do u have a sudden rush to sign on as an airforce man? Well, im sure they will welcome u. Shall end here. Will blog about my encounter today with Korean Superstar Actor Kwon Sang Woo some other time, most probably tommorrow. Am very very exhausted after all the squeezing and singing action i had today. Meanwhile take care peeps and also my friend Gabrielle Gan Mei Xing over at aussie =). By the way i gotta declare it really wasnt my ideal to watch Kwon Sang Woo HAHAHA.




Sayonara~ Im leaving on a jetplane with the Banglas.


ByeBye.